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Week 7 in the NFL came with more bumps and bruises… what the hell did you expect.. it’s the NFL! Considering I was pretty much out of commission for a majority of the Sunday games (that’s a whole other topic for a whole other article that will never be written), this week’s article is going to be more of a “Quick Hitter” special.

Teams on Bye: LIONS, TEXANS

Oakland Raiders vs.Kansas City Chiefs on Thursday Night Football was a shootout from jump street! Nobody told these teams that TNF is a regularly scheduled snoozefest, as they put on a very entertaining performance. Amari Cooper erupted for 210 yards on 11 catches (19 targets!) and two touchdowns; “The reports of (Amari’s demise) are greatly exaggerated.” Despite strong performances from Kareem Hunt, Super Rookie, and Tyreek Hill placing KC on the doorstep of victory, Derek Carr fired a TD pass to Michael Crabtree on the SECOND untimed down (thank you, my fantasy team needed that!) to win 31-30… Raiders move to 3-4 in a game they had to have. This was a devastating loss, and second in a row, for the Chiefs (5-2)!

Drew Brees pulled into Green Bay, traveling well for the first time in his life, and bested the Pack. Only 87 passing yards for young Brett Hundley, “replacing” the injured Aaron Rodgers… while fellow NFC North occupant Minnesota Vikings improved to 5-2 with a 24-16 win over the Ravens. Latavius Murray (18-113-1) actually showed up now that his ankle is back up to snuff, and Joe Flacco (27/39-186-1) may need to consider early retirement. Vikings take control of the North, moving one game up on the Packers and two ahead of idle Detroit.

The Giants vs. Seahawks matchup was a battle to see who wanted to win LEAST! Gurley & Co. trampled Arizona to the tune of 33 – ZIP… are the Rams for real??? The Cardinals had a justifiable reason to lay a goose egg (more on that later).

Early Game Leaders:
• Josh McCown – 4 TOTAL TDs (3 PASS, 1 RUSH)
• LeSean McCoy – 23 RUSHES, 91 YARDS, 2 TDs
• Eddie Jackson – 75 YARD FUM RET TD, 76 YARD INT RET TD

Despite McCown’s 4 TDs, the J.. E.. T.. S.. JETS, JETS, JETS ran out of fuel, losing to Miami on a last minute FG in regulation. However, who would have thought by Week 8, New York, Buffalo and Chicago would have a combined 10 wins?

Speaking of the Bears, Cam Newton lossed to a team who only threw the ball SEVEN times, completing FOUR. That’s what you get when you are a classless piece of shit! Maybe I would give him a pass if he: a) acted like a leader, win or loss; b) treated women in the sports reporting world with respect; or c) dressed like an adult, and not like a clown.

Cowboys (3-3) absolutely dismantled the Niners 40-10 on Dwight Clark day, but their schedule gets a lot harder from here (next three: @ Washington, vs. KC, @ Atlanta)! Zeke (26-147-2; 1-72-1) had a monster day, possibly making up for upcoming lost time (will play Week 8/suspension STILL pending). Until then, he’s totin’ the rock like Boba Fett in his Vette. Dez Bryant tied “Bullet Bob” Hayes for franchise all-time receiving TD record (71). Catch this, Montana!

The Pittsburgh Steelers/JuJu Smith-Schuster yet again win Best TD Celebration of the Week…

Finally, the quote on quote Game of the Week – Pats vs. Dirty Birds, SNF – turned into a real snoozefest. This game (23-7 Pats victory) should have been switched with the actual Thursday Night game.

WEEK 7 KEY INJURIES

Carson Palmer (broken arm): Palmer had his left (non-throwing) arm pinned against his chest while being driven into the ground by Alec Ogletree on a play that resulted in an interception. These are the freak kind of plays that happen when “London(‘s) calling.” Different spot this go around (Twickenham Stadium), so we at least didn’t have to get up early. Just more bad injury news for the Cards.

Prognosis: Cardinals coach Bruce Arians said the quarterback will have surgery and likely miss eight weeks max, although four to six could be realistic (see link).

Fantasy Impact: None, because were you really planning on winning a championship with Palmer?

Other Injury News
• Joe Thomas (triceps): MRI results show that Thomas sustained a tear to his left triceps. He is expected to miss the remainder of the season.
• Jay Cutler (multiple cracked ribs): At least now Miami as an excuse to play Moore!
• Dan Bailey (groin) is slated to miss a couple of weeks.
• Mike Wallace (back)
• Khalil Mack (neck)
• Luke Kuechly (concussion protocol)
• Delanie Walker (walking boot)

NOTABLE ROOKIE PERFORMANCES

GONE. 🏃💨 #GoPackGo

A post shared by Green Bay Packers (@packers) on

• Aaron Jones (131-1): Ty Who?
• Kareem Hunt (18-87; 4-30): Just continues to beast!
• O.J. Howard (6-98-2): The Juice 2.0 is Loose while Brate is only making Football slightly great again!
• Alvin Kamara (107 APY)

WEEKLY STAT LEADERS (HEADING INTO MONDAY NIGHT)

MNF PREVIEW

Washington Redskins @ Philadelphia Eagles (Lincoln Financial Field, 8:30 EST): In what many expect to be a shootout in South Philadelphia, I say the defenses of both respective clubs come to play… at least in the 1st half. The Birds come into MNF with the 9th best rush DVOA and 13th best pass DVOA, according to Football Outsiders; while Washington is no slouch themselves (15th rush DVOA, 10th pass DVOA). This game is going to be a boxing match in the onset, only to come strong with the low blows and haymakers in the later rounds. No Josh Norman bodes well for Carson Christ.

Eagles win 27-23

• Betting Info:
• Eagles -4.5 O/U 48.5 (Take Redskins with the points in the over)
• Vegas Team Totals: Redskins – 22, Eagles – 26.5

• Fantasy Projections: Carson Wentz (FD: $8,300, DK: $6,700) is starting to see his price reach his +EV, so I feel Kirk Cousins is a better value against Philly’s lone defensive weakness, their secondary. The Monday Night miracle play is Senior Blount. Primetime matchup… Get your popcorn ready!!!