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Just when we thought the NFL couldn’t get any crazier, Week 5 happened. Welcome to Bye Weeks people!

Larry Fitzgerald hauled in six catches, making 200 straight games with a reception (2004-Present) which is 3rd all time behind Jerry Rice (274; 1985-2004) and Tony Gonzalez (211; 2000-13) in NFL history – rounding out the top-5 is Marvin Harrison (190; 1996-2008) and Hines Ward (186; 1998-2010). Think about that… 14 years of catches. Just start making his Hall of Fame bust now… it’s a fucking lock!

Carson Wentz may be the next coming of Christ (we’ll have to get confirmation from “Philly Jesus” on that one) as he delivered 304 yards on 21/30 passes, netting 4 TDs against 1 INT in a 34-7 dismantling of Fitz’s Cardinals. Eagles move to 4-1 in the NFC East, a game and a half over the idle Washington Redskins.

It went from bad to worse for the 0-5 New York Giants (more on that later) as Philip Rivers was offered a stay of execution… Chargers “improve” to 1-4.

In the much expected shootout down in Dallas, Packers/Cowboys lived up to the game of the week hype. Despite dominating time of possession in the 1st half, the Cowboys replayed the same old script and allowed the Pack to march up & down the field in the 2nd half, thanks to horrible defensive play and clock mismanagement. Dak Prescott demonstrated excellent QB play, but left 12 seconds too many after rushing in the go-ahead score. Cowboys fall to 2-3 and two games behind the mighty Eagles. After the comeback win, Aaron Rodgers had time for this photo:

Cam Newton may be a fucking poor excuse for a human being, but he brought it on the football field this Sunday. After a self-imposed tumultuous week, Cam posted a monstrous statline: 26-33, 355 YDS and 3 TDs. This just in… he’s still a pussy!

A.J. Green exploded for seven receptions on 13 targets, gaining 189 yards with a TD. Bengals faithful and fantasy owners everywhere rejoiced!

Phillip Supernaw: 1st NFL TD in his 4th season! Congrats… THAT HELPED NO ONE!

Any other fellow RedZoners out there think they had a cricket in the house? Took me a while to figure out I was only hearing one when they flipped from camera shots… Peter Sarsgaard knows all about mind-control!

WEEK 3 KEY INJURIES

Odell Beckham Jr (fractured left ankle)

Prognosis: OBJ’s season is over before it even began. Real tough “break” for the Giants (Too Soon?) and fantasy owners of the 4th year wide receiver out of LSU. Almost threw up my lunch seeing his leg/ankle bend underneath Casey Hayward’s body. Here’s the latest:

Fantasy Impact: This is a very murky situation for fantasy owners, as both Brandon Marshall (sprained left ankle) and Sterling Shepard (also injured his ankle… WTF is going on out here!) prematurely exited contest vs. the Chargers. Anybody have Victor Cruz on speed dial??? Shepard appears to be ok, and would be the logical replacement for OBJ on fantasy teams. If looking elsewhere, Will Fuller (56% owned) or Cole Beasley (22%) would make for fine volume replacements with high TD upside. Roger Lewis Jr. (1-29-1 yesterday) can be an add for deep formats.

Other Injury News
• Matthew Stafford (leg) – Absolutely destroyed on virtually every play yesterday vs. the Panthers, Stafford was seen receiving medical attention for his right leg at least twice in the second half. Stafford stayed in the game and mounted a failed fourth-quarter rally, highlighted by a pair of touchdown passes on his final two drives. He was apparently walking with a noticeable hitch when he left the locker room after the game, but neither he nor coach Jim Caldwell was willing to provide any kind of update.
• DeVante Parker (ankle sprain) – After exiting in the first half, he was spotted leaving the stadium on crutches after the game. While the initial signs hinted at a potential serious ailment, Ian Rapoport of NFL Network reports injury believed to be minor. Continue to monitor his practice status!
• Charles Clay (knee) – Injured during Sunday’s loss in Cincinnati; underwent a knee scope and will be out multiple weeks.
• Travis Kelce (concussion)
• J.J. Watt (broken leg) & Whitney Mercilus (torn pectoral muscle) – Done For Season!

NOTABLE ROOKIE PERFORMANCES


Myles Garrett (Two sacks in his NFL debut)
• Leonard Fournette (28-181-2; including a mammoth 90-yard TD run)
• Aaron Jones (9-125-1)
• Kareem Hunt – Oh hum, another 100-yard day… four out of five games with 100+ yards on the ground and 775 yards from scrimmage total on the season!!!
• Marlon Mack (9-91-1)
• David Njoku (3-48-1)
• Christian McCaffrey (Receiving: 5-31-1)
• TJ Watt (6 TT, 1 S)

WEEKLY STAT LEADERS (HEADING INTO MONDAY NIGHT)

 

MNF PREVIEW

Minnesota Vikings @ Chicago Bears (Soldier Field, 8:30 EST): Sam Bradford will return to the gridiron for MNF, offering a boost to all Vikings targets (Diggs, Thielen and even Rudolph who has disappointed so far this season, but will be looked upon for Dalvin Cook’s missing targets). I have a feeling it will be a Thielen/Rudolph game (or maybe that’s just hope, as I need big performances from them to keep my undefeated record going in ‘The Higher Rollers’). As for the Bears, Mitchell “Don’t Call me Mitch” Trubisky will make his NFL debut on MNF against a stout Vikings D. You can go ahead and fit him for body bag, Johnny!

Vikings win 30-17

• Betting Info:
• Vikings -3.5 O/U 40.5 (Take Vikes with the over)
• Team Totals: Vikings – 21.8, Bears – 22.1

• Fantasy Projections: Lat Murray will start for the aforementioned Cook and should be AVOIDED in all formats; he’s still nursing a surgically repaired, sore ankle and Jerick McKinnon will be in the mix for touches. I expect Jordan Howard to have a nice game, depending on game script; makes for a great play for DFS Mon-Thurs. Primetime game… get your popcorn ready!